Gojyukaiki (50th Memorial)

On our recent trip to Japan one of the most important things we did was observe the fiftieth year memorial service for Ikuko's parents.

Some Japanese are devoutly religious but most observe Shinto rituals for the New Year and some other occasions during the year, Buddhist rituals for burials and some other occasions and even some Christian events such as Easter and Christmas.

We were staying with my wife's family. They have a small Shinto shrine to protect fishermen and for driving safety. They also have a Buddhist altar or Butsudan which is referred to as Hotokesama because it contains religious relics and pictures of the parents and other deceased.

Butsudan (Hotokesama) ready for ceremony

 From the top, just below the lights are two cups of tea. If you look closely, just to the right of the tea are two small photographs, one of the two parents and one of my brother-in-law. Below the tea cups are rice cakes flanked by fresh fruits. On the table below is a candle, which is lit at the beginning of the ceremony and from which josh sticks are subsequently lit. In front of the candle is an ornate bowl containing clean white sand where the lit incense sticks will be inserted. To the right of the sand on the red and green cushion is a brass "singing bowl" which is rung prior to daily meditations and by the attending priest at appropriate times throughout the 50th year ceremony. To the left of the sand are the unlit josh sticks in a lacquered container. Flanking the table are two fresh flower arrangements and below the table to the left is an offering of a bowl of fresh mikan (Japanese tangerines), subject of a later post.

On the appointed day relatives and guests gathered (no photos out of respect) and a Buddhist priest arrived to perform the ceremony. The priest was eighty-eight years old but had a wonderful deep voice for reciting the chants.

Before the service started the guests placed money offerings (gobutsuzen) in special black on white envelopes on the altar and made sure to have their prayer beads handy. We borrowed beads from nephew and wife. There were cushions (zabutan) on the tatami floor but there were also chairs around the perimeter of the ten-mat room and in the adjoining room.

When I first went to Japan in 1960 western style chairs were uncommon and most people knelt or sat cross-legged on the floor on the zabutan or dangled their legs into a kotatsu which, in those days before central heat, contained a charcoal brazier. Now almost every house has kitchen chairs and table and living room sofas and easy chairs. Most houses still have a tatami room but it is used mostly for formal occasions.

The result of sitting in all these chairs is that only some of the old people are comfortable sitting in the traditional manner either kneeling or sitting cross legged. During this ceremony older people with bad knees or hips sarted off sitting in the chairs. They were soon joined by others who just couldn't sit on the floor for long. I managed to kneel for about twenty minutes but then crossed my legs and let the feeling return below my waist.

As the priest worked his way through the chants, ringing the bowl at the appropriate tmes, we held our prayer beads in clasped hands. Toward the end of the chanting the priest passed around the incense bowl and lighted sticks of incense for each of the participants to place in the sand, finished the final chants, rang the singing bowl again and that was the end of the formal ceremony.

The priest removed his over-robe and sashes, packed up his books, received the Ofuse (monetary gratuity, in this case about $600) and returned to his temple about 45 minutes after he arrived. The family and guests stood and stretched painful legs then rode a bus to a restaurant for the formal dinner where there was good food and drink in honor of the fifty-year memorial couple.

Grandson (and our nephew) Kyosuke speaking to the group just before the toasts and dinner.

Ninety-two year old daughter, Haruko, enjoying dinner.

Fresh sashimi from a locally caught wild Hamachi (Yellowtail)

Another nephew, Takeshi, and daughter (and my wife), Ikuko.

Grand-daughter (and our niece) Chisato.

The fifty-year memorial that we attended was a reminder that in Japan (and some other Asian countries) the dead are remembered and honored more than in our western countries. Formal ceremonies take place seven days after the death, again at 49 days, one year, three years, seven years, 13, 17, 25, 33 years and so on until the fiftieth year. Plus there are the daily rituals of offering fresh fruits, rice and tea at the Hotokesame. Also, in many homes pictures of the deceased hang around the upper part of the formal room.

I can't say if those customs are better than the American custom of paying a visit to the graves each year on Memorial Day, but it is refreshing to see the old people honored a little more than we do here in the culture of the young.

Ikuko's parents were fortunate to have a family to carry on the remembrances. Traditionally the formal room with its butsudan and memorial ceremonies was the responsiblity of the child (and their family) who inherited the house and property but nowadays the culture is changing.

In the countryside the extended families with two or three generations living in the same house remains  the standard but in the cities and even smaller towns and villages, important changes are happening.

First, the extended family is being replaced by the nuclear family. As children grow up and marry they most often move away from the family home to their own house, condo or apartment and begin their own families. If they are close enough the grandparents can assist with babysitting but often jobs or housing take the new parents too far away. As the old couple ages they are moved to retirement or nursing homes and there is no one to take care of the household butsudan or shrine.

Second, thanks to efficient methods of birth control and economic pressures, families have only one or maybe two children. Many young people, as is true here and in other countries around the world, postpone marriage or give it up entirely and have no children. As the childless people and those in retirement homes age the government is tasked with finding a way to support them.

 As we have traveled around Japan these last few years I've seen evidence of these changes. There are more than a few vacant houses, the fields in farm country are growing larger (not a bad thing now that they are using mechanized farming mehods) and some fields, especially in the mountainous areas are returning to a natural state for lack of cultivation.

This trend is not nearly so apparent as in our ghost towns across rural America but it is there nonetheless.

To compound the problem the Japanese always have discouraged immigration so the population is contracting and aging and it is becoming more and more difficult to keep the social security and health care systems afloat.

Sorry for rambling. Back to the Gojyukaiki.

It was a memorable day for the remembered parents but also for the living.  Personal problems and cares were put aside for the day. The ceremony united family and guests in a spirit of appreciation of and well-wishing for the souls of the departed. The dinner and social time reminded me of a wake or celebration of life fifty years removed.